Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Las Meninas

The famous painting by Diego Velasquez, Las Meninas, has many interpretations, but the following has never been presented before today. This theory states that the viewer is watching the interrogation of the young princess through a two way mirror. She is obviously being interrogated for drug smuggling amd transportation of illegal immigrants from Portugal, as "Druggo" the Narcotics Dog, a well known police dog during the 17th century appears in the foreground of the painting. The people formerly believed to be attendants are, in fact, disguised investigators, performing the usual "good cop-bad cop" routine. The princess refuses to make eye contact with the investigators, proving that she is lying about this investigation. Velasquez stands in the background painting the young princess' mug shot, which explains why he looks at the mirror. The girl's parents look on from the viewers viewpoint with disappointed feelings as shown in the mirrors on the wall.The girl pretends to curtsey, but is in fact holding amphetamines and cocaine inside the dress.

Many of my collegues have discounted this theory as falacious, to which I tell them, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"